I was asked several times during this end-of-an-era team dinner if I was going to remember everything the next day. And I remember now exactly what I said I was going to remember when asked: MEAT. That’s not very original, but we don’t claim or strive to be original every day, folks. It’s not original for the simple reason that Tucano’s is churrascaria – also known as ‘that Brazilian thing where the cowboy-looking guys bring around huge chunks of meat on skewers and slice off pieces until you beg for mercy. Plus buffet.’ Plus it’s in Dogenzaka, which I’m told is a fun place to hang out if you’re young and hip as opposed to old and creaky.
That pretty much says it all. Can I stop now? Just to spite the doubters, I’m going to list all the meats I can remember. Y’all are all a buncha haters, alright? One note before we start – 90 minutes of all-you-care-to-eat-with-buffet is more than enough. Don’t go the 2 hours.
- Sausages. This sounds normal, but several people agreed that it was the tastiest meat of the meal (me and Ponkan, and those are the opinions that count!).
- Chicken hearts. While I heard about chicken hearts around 1989 from Andy LaFountain (real spelling folks! His family lived in Brazil before moving back to good ol’ Pitman NJ. But I see that I’m mentally conflating his memory with the other semi-Brazilian guy I knew in the past, Dan Abrahamson.) this was my first time to consume the genuine article. Considering the quality of the other meats at this meal, I think they must have been reasonable examples of the genre, and this means I plan to avoid the genre in the future. Edible, even tasty, but with a disturbing squishy texture, and a noticeable artery sticking out the top of each one like a small rubber hose.
- Beef 1: Rump roast, I believe (ランプ on the menu, so it may have something to do with light bulbs instead?)
- Beef 2: filet with onions and peppers (yes, I mean ‘capsicums’, you miserable convicts)
- Beef 3: cold roast beef with onion salsa on top. Looks for all the word like the plates of negi-tongue you get at yaki niku
- Beef 4: Brisket, roasted on the skewer. A little dry and not as good as boiling your own corned beef at home, but still with the characteristic flavor that I love, and you can’t get those brisket-in-a-bag-with-spices things that I used to love to make when I was younger and lived in the land of cotton.
- Beef 5: Brisket, oven roasted? Very dark with more more flavor, served from a plate instead of a skewer (blasphemy!)
- Pork: I think some kind of roasted belly? Lashings of fat, crackled around the outside
- Chicken 1: wings. I dislike eating wings, but these were delicious
- Chicken 2: Chunks wrapped in bacon
- Sausages: That’s right, it just keeps coming…
- Pineapple: on the 7th day, God had finished with the meats, so he served skewer-roasted pineapple to his guests
The meat is really tasty, I found the caipirinhas to be very good, and the company was excellent as always. Monday things start over in Otemachi…next year in Jerusalem!
More than one man finished the meal with a girlish cry of “I don’t feel so well…”
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Picture of Der Meistersinger used without permission. I’ll take it down if asked nicely and bought a beer next week.